The Latest from Brad Montgomery

1. Skip “Tuesdays With Morrie“…. I’m going with “Thursdays with Clarice.”

2. (Not Even Light-) Blue Humor

3. It’s not funny but…. (Killer computer resource!)

4. Cool links that will make you laugh.

Thursdays with Granny

My grandmother died at age 100. A funny thing happened when when she was a perky 97 year old. Clarice Montgomery is a sometimes grumpy, sometimes childish, sometimes mean but always lovable woman who is also ALWAYS thrilled when I visit her in her nursing home.

When I get there for my irregular visits, she says without fail, “Oh Brad! I was hoping you would come today.” And happily, she is always willing to laugh at my jokes. (Well… nearly always.)

During my most recent visit I realized how smart she can be. Who needs TUESDAYS WITH MORRIE? I’ve got Thursdays with Granny. On this last visit it was a dreary, yucky, cloudy wet day in my home town of Denver. It was one of those depressing days that makes you want to stay home in bed with a good novel. Ok, I’ll say it; the day sucked.

She and one of her aides told me about how earlier that day they got their coats on, and went for a “roll” (Granny’s in a wheel chair) outside in the weather. Yup, you heard that right. My 97 year old matriarch went out to play in the rain.

I made a joke, “Did you jump in the puddles?”

“Yes.” But it was clear that this wasn’t what she wanted to tell me and that my jokes were just in the way. She told me about the smells, the sounds and the feeling of the air. “It was wonderful, Brad. Just wonderful.” And by the dreamy look in her eyes — something I’m NOT used to seeing from this no-nonsense woman — it was clear that it was wonderful.

I felt like an idiot. I was rushing round doing errands, one of which was visiting my granny. She was just another thing to “check off” my list. I was having trouble enjoying the day; I was having trouble being in the moment. And granny was waxing poetic on a short trip into inclement weather.

Yup, Granny is pretty smart. But on that day she was brilliant.

Thanks Grandmother! Love you!

(Now I gotta go put on my galoshes.)

===================================================

Why Does Humor Have To Be Clean?

Those of you who have seen my programs know that I work clean. I don’t use any blue humor. Why?

There are a ton of reasons, including the fact that I just don’t feel that you need to “cross that line” in order to get a laugh.

But to be honest, one of the biggest reasons is self serving: working clean is good for business. Because every single client can use a speaker who uses crystal clean humor and comedy. But only a few can use somebody who works blue. Bottom line: the market for clean is bigger.

My theory is that funny comes first. If people are laughing until their faces hurt, they don’t care if you are clean or not. In fact most of them won’t notice. (Have you, for example, ever noticed that Bill Cosby and Seinfeld work very clean? My guess is that you haven’t thought of it… but you know they are funny, right?)

But if you are working blue or dirty, then there always be some percentage of your audience who will freak out. It might only be 1% of the audience, but you’re guaranteed to tick somebody off if you cuss, talk about sex, race and/or gender.

Who wants to deal with that when you don’t need it?

And worse… what if it is your meeting planner, the company CEO or some other crucial decision maker who is in that 1%? Comedy Suicide.

It just ain’t worth it. Don’t take the chance.

Work Clean. It Pays.

Are YOU interested in becoming a professional speaker? Want to learn some comedy and humor skills? Presentation skills? Wanna learn about the business of motivational keynote speakers? Sign up for my totally separate newsletter here to get a ton of cool audios and other stuff… as my treat. Sign up here.

Killer computer resource?

Back Up Your Computer

It’s not funny, but…

I had a huge scare with my computer data, and found an awesome service that is so good I just need to share it.

It’s a unbelievably easy to use back up utility that keeps your most important files on your computer safe from error, fire, theft, and random screw ups. And best of all… it doesn’t cost anything. It’s F R E E. What better deal could you ask for?

I use it. My wife uses it, and two of my best pals use it. And several small businesses that I know of use it.

I can’t believe it took me this long to find it.

And we all love it. And you will too. Here’s the link again.

Other Resources

Looking to Book a Speaker and need some Valuable Tips? Click Here.

Are you a believer in the power of levity and lightheartedness and its ability to help your organization get to where it deserves to be? Are you having trouble convincing the masses? Give us a call. We can help.

Book Brad For Your

Next Meeting

You received this email because at one time you have subscribed to this service. If you’d like to unsubscribe , just scroll all the way down and we’ll make it really easy for ya with one click!

Copyright © 2010 Brad Montgomery. All rights reserved

The details:

Brad Montgomery is a laugh-out-loud funny motivational
speaker, humor at work expert and Meeting Energizer. Speaking. Facilitation. Customized High-Energy Content Games. Master of Ceremonies, & Copy Boy.

Reach Brad at 800.624.4280 http://www.BradMontgomery.com

© 2010 Brad Montgomery Productions Inc., All rights reserved.
You are welcome to use material from this newsletter
in whole or in part, as long as you include complete
attribution, including live web site link. Please also
notify me where the material will appear.
If you want to change your email address or unsubscribe,
please don’t email me. Click the link at the very bottom.
Only takes a second or two to leave or to make changes.
Thanks! But before you do, think about this: what if
the next newsletter has the winning lotto numbers, and
every reader wins… but you? Hey, it could happen.
So don’t be too hasty.

PRIVACY and SPAM POLICY:

First of all, I hate Spam…
(unless it’s fried). I never rent, trade or sell my
email list to anyone for any reason whatsoever. Not
even if they give me $1 Million. (If they give
me $3 Million, you might be in trouble, but

seriously, what are the chances?) You’ll never
get an unsolicited email from a stranger

as a result of joining this list. Not that
I’m not pretty strange, but… well… you get the idea.

TYPOS!

Finally, some readers love to find typos, grammar errors and other sundry goofs. I occasionally leave them in just to make those people happy. So if you found some… Yippee! It’s you’re lucky day.

If you’re still reading this far down, you REALLY need to find a hobby. It’s over! All done.

Seriously dude. It’s time to get back to work. Don’t you have some email to return or something?

Ok, now you’re just pushing it. You need some serious help with time management. Move on baby! This thing is over!

Since you’re still here, here’s a video of a flash mob performance in Seattle. I love it for two reasons. One, the energy is undeniable. I’d love to be part of one, and I’d love to witness one. Second, what killer marketing for the TV show. Hire some dancers, and let YouTube have it’s way. I wish I had thought of it.

You must be craving more. Why are you here? I bet you have something that you SHOULD be doing but don’t want to. Clean your desk. Get coffee. Call your mom.

There has to be a better way to procrastinate than this!

Since you’re here …might as well check out my blog. (Hey! If you can’t fight it, embrace it!)

The Latest from Brad Montgomery

1. A Cool Message from Dorfus Dottydunkin.

2. The Third Wise Man

3. Speakers Introductions Are Boring.

4. Cool Links to Even More Humor.

Nicknames at Work Can Make You Smile

Hi, My Name is Dorfus Dottydunkin.

My 12 year old son LOVES Captain Underpants (which is a very cool kids’ book). Heck, I love it too. The following is excerpted from a children’s book, Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot Professor Poopypants, by Dave Pilkey, in which the evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names…

So, here’s how you do it:

1. Use the second letter of your first name to determine your new first name:

a = snickle

b = doombah

c = goober

d = cheesey

e = crusty

f = greasy

g = dumbo

h = farcus

i = dorky

j = doofus

k = funky

l = boobie

m = sleezy

n = sloopy

o = fluffy

p = stinky

q = slimy

r = dorfus

s = snooty

t = tootsie

u = dipsy

v = sneezy

w = liver

x = skippy

y = dinky

z = zippy

2. Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:

a = dippin

b = feather

c = batty

d = burger

e = chicken

f = barffy

g = lizard

h = waffle

i = farkle

j = monkey

k = flippin

l = fricken

m = bubble

n = rhino

o = dotty

p = hamster

q = buckle

r = gizzard

s = lickin

t = snickle

u = chuckle

v = pickle

w = hubble

x = dingle

y = gorilla

z = girdle

3. Use the third letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:

a = butt

b = boob

c = face

d = nose

e = hump

f = breath

g = pants

h = shorts

i = lips

j = honker

k = head

l = tush

m = chunks

n = dunkin

o = brains

p = biscuits

q = toes

r = doodle

s = fanny

t = sniffer

u = sprinkles

v = frack

w = squirt

x = humperdinck

y = hiney

z = juice

Thus, for example, George W. Bush’s new name is: Crusty Chucklefanny.

WHAT SHOULD YOU DO NOW?

Try this for your favorite client. (Or your nightmare client. For your workmate. Your boss. Your spouse. Try it at dinner time with the family. Trust me… it’s pretty funny… even if you’re not eight.)

Yours, Dorfus Dottydunkin

================

The Third Wise Man Might Surprise You

During a recent trip speaking in South Carolina I had the good fortune to drive back to the airport with a very wise man.

I was rushed after finishing my keynote to get to the airport. As it was a smaller town, if I missed the last flight I’d have to spend an extra night on the road.

The wise man noticed I was hurrying and we started talking about the over-fast pace by which we all seem to live.

“It just doesn’t make sense. We are all in such a rush, and it just doesn’t help much,” he said. “Like when you’re on the freeway rushing along, passing everybody you can. Switching lanes here, passing people there. And sometimes you notice a particular car as you pass them.”

He continues, “But when you get there, they are there too. That car you remembered passing so long ago is there too? How is that possible?”

Then, this wise hotel shuttle driver was just silent, as was I. It was weird; I was in such a hurry, and — to be honest — I just wasn’t listening to this man that closely. But for some reason, when he talked about the car “being there too” it just got me. It held me.

I said something lame like, “Dude, that story is absolutely profound.”

He just nodded and said, “When you rush to get there, that other guy you passed is already there.”

What’s the point? I thought about that nice man — to whom I gave a huge tip and a copy of one of my books — on the plane and here’s what I think he meant:

Rushing takes a ton of energy, time, and trouble. It raises our stress level through the roof. We get stressed, we get anxious, and we get tired. And in the end, it really doesn’t make a difference. In the end, we “get there” about the same time as the people we were so busy “passing.”

The Three Wise Men: Ghandi. Yoda. And the Embassy Suites Shuttle Driver.

It’s ok… slow down.

(Which is cool because it gives you some extra time to have some fun and play. : )

===============================================

Speakers Introductions Are Boring!

Are you a professional speaker, an entertainer or a presenter of any kind? Let’s face it, 99% of introductions for speakers are boring as heck. They are too long. They practically repeat the speaker’s resume´. And they are boring. Really freaking boring.

What makes it worse is that in most cases, the audience has a written copy of the speakers achievements and credentials in their lap DURING this boring introduction.

But speakers and entertainers need introductions. What should you do?

First of all, remember that it’s up to you as a speaker to create and deliver a great written introduction for your introducer to use. (TIP: Use 20 pt font so they can read it without their glasses.)

Second, no matter how long your intro is, shorten it. And then shorten it some more.

Third, make sure that your intro doesn’t duplicate the bio that is in the convention or meeting program.

And finally, (and this is the best one) make sure that that your introduction helps you to connect to the audience. I tell most of the clients in my coaching programs to include something personal and NOT related to their talk. Maybe they are a passionate dog lover. Or they will drive for hours for the absolute best Mexican food. Or that they have a secret passion for cooked spinach.

Why? For two reasons. First, because this type of stuff will usually get a laugh from the audience. And that’s a good thing. Really good. But second, and more importantly, this type of intro will help CONNECT you to your audience. If your audience hears that you are a real person with real loves, real passions, and a real personality, they will relate to you. And after all, isn’t it this sort of connection that professional speakers are after?

You bet…. so trash your old intro and start fresh.

==

Humor Resources

How To Give a Speech So You Don’t Look Like an Idiot

Learn how to create and deliver a funny speech by tomorrow! (Heck, shut the door, READ THIS, then get out your pen and you can have this done in one hour!)

Are you a believer in the power of levity and lightheartedness and its ability to help your organization get to where it deserves to be? Are you having trouble convincing the masses? Give us a call. We can help.

Book Brad For Your

Next Meeting

You received this email because at one time you have subscribed to this service. If you’d like to unsubscribe , just scroll all the way down and we’ll make it really easy for ya with one click!

Copyright © 2010 Brad Montgomery. All rights reserved

The details:

Brad Montgomery is a laugh-out-loud funny motivational
speaker, humor at work expert and Meeting Energizer. Speaking. Facilitation. Customized High-Energy Content Games. Master of Ceremonies, & Copy Boy.

Reach Brad at 800.624.4280 http://www.BradMontgomery.com

© 2010 Brad Montgomery Productions Inc., All rights reserved.
You are welcome to use material from this newsletter
in whole or in part, as long as you include complete
attribution, including live web site link. Please also
notify me where the material will appear.
If you want to change your email address or unsubscribe,
please don’t email me. Click the link at the very bottom.
Only takes a second or two to leave or to make changes.
Thanks! But before you do, think about this: what if
the next newsletter has the winning lotto numbers, and
every reader wins… but you? Hey, it could happen.
So don’t be too hasty.

PRIVACY and SPAM POLICY:

First of all, I hate Spam…
(unless it’s fried). I never rent, trade or sell my
email list to anyone for any reason whatsoever. Not
even if they give me $1 Million. (If they give
me $3 Million, you might be in trouble, but

seriously, what are the chances?) You’ll never
get an unsolicited email from a stranger

as a result of joining this list. Not that
I’m not pretty strange, but… well… you get the idea.

TYPOS!

Finally, some readers love to find typos, grammar errors and other sundry goofs. I occasionally leave them in just to make those people happy. So if you found some… Yippee! It’s you’re lucky day.

If you’re still reading this far down, you REALLY need to find a hobby. It’s over! All done.

Seriously dude. It’s time to get back to work. Don’t you have some email to return or something?

Ok, now you’re just pushing it. You need some serious help with time management. Move on baby! This thing is over!

Since you’re still here, here’s a video of a flash mob performance in Seattle. I love it for two reasons. One, the energy is undeniable. I’d love to be part of one, and I’d love to witness one. Second, what killer marketing for the TV show. Hire some dancers, and let YouTube have it’s way. I wish I had thought of it.

You must be craving more. Why are you here? I bet you have something that you SHOULD be doing but don’t want to. Clean your desk. Get coffee. Call your mom.

There has to be a better way to procrastinate than this!

Since you’re here …might as well check out my blog. (Hey! If you can’t fight it, embrace it!)

The Latest from Brad Montgomery

1. Win A Free Book! (And get your questions answered to boot!)

2. Want to Be Happy? Ask a Government Employee For Help.

3. The Frasier Rule of Comedy. (And Niles too.)

4. Cool links that will make you laugh.

Win a Free Book!

Here’s your chance to:

1. Win a Free Book.

2. Get your questions answered.

3. Be famous!

As many of you know, I’m blogging more than ever. And I’m always eager to make sure that what I cover on my blog is exactly what you find valuable (or fun.) I’ll be answer a limited number of questions on the blog, and the questions I actually use will earn their “asker” (is that a word?) a free copy of one of my electronic books. (Valued at $15 or more, depending on what I send.)

We won’t limit the number of winners… but we’ll only select great questions, so make ’em good.

Send your questions about:

1. Speaking

2. Humor (and comedy) Techniques

3. Stress and humor

4. Humor and the workplace

5. Comedy and Comedians

6. Magic and magicians

7. The business of speaking, comedy, etc

8. Other speakers, entertainers, etc

…. Whatever! There is no wrong question…. and if we pick yours you win a free book!

Answers AND prizes? How Cool is That?!

Send your questions to: info@bradmontgomery.com and put “I want to Win a FREE BOOK” in the subject line.

Note: If you want us to post your questions anonymously, no sweat. Just let us know.

===================================================

Wanna Be Happy? Make your Choice!

Do you want a good attitude? Want to enjoy your job more? Feel like you would love to be more content at home with your family?

Then here’s the good news, Pork-chop…. you can be. And the first step to making that happen is deciding that you WILL make it happen.

That’s right…. the first step to being happy, satisfied and content is to DECIDE that you will be happy, satisfied and content. Sure, we are all subject to outside influences, stresses and inputs. But one of the main contributors to being happy is the choice we make whether or not we will be happy.

It’s so simple. It’s nearly cliche’. But that doesn’t make it any less true.

How about a real-life example? Glad you asked. I recently got my drivers’ license replaced at the Colorado Division of Motor Vehicles. This horrible place is known for bad service, miserable state government employees. Long lines. And general misery. Basically, I’d rather put a fork in my eye than have to go there in person.

But I couldn’t have been more wrong. My experience was terrific, and most of it was due to a lovely woman named Margie. After a surprisingly short wait, I gave my money and my paperwork to Margie, and she cheerfully helped me, made conversation, smiled, and was an absolute delight.

I told her that she was breaking all of my preconceptions about what this office was SUPPOSED to be like. And that she didn’t fit the terrible stereotype of a horrible, lazy, grumpy government worker. I asked her what her secret is.

“Oh, the job is what you make it.”

I was stunned. So simple. So profound. So right-on-target. Forget Ghandi. Forget Mother Teresa. I’m telling you one of the great philosophers of our time works in The Colorado Department of Motor Vehicles.

My point (and Margie’s) point is that sometimes we have to CHOOSE to make ourselves happy. We “make” our jobs either good or not, and the first step towards a fun job is our choice to make our job fun.

Sure, I know that this simple idea is almost too simple; it’s borderline platitudinous. (Oh! What a big word!) This is also an idea that is very simple, but not always easy. But, as I said before, that doesn’t make it any less true.

Learn from Margie…. if you want to be happy, content, satisfied, and generally positive then decide to be that way. You ARE in charge of your own happiness… and you don’t even need a license.

Frasier Rule of Comedy

When I’m giving my seminars on how to be funny, the number one problem my students have with presenting humor is the fear of failure. And who can blame them? It’s horrible to try something you think is funny and then have a group of people stare at you as though you are an idiot.

Well Fun Seekers, I might have some good news for you: when they stare at you with that blank look they might still be loving you and your humor or comedy. It might be time to remind yourself of the Frasier Rule.

Here’s the deal: I love the TV show Frasier. I will go out of my way to watch re-runs. I think it is a terrific, well-written REALLY funny show. But when I watch it I make my wife crazy because I don’t laugh. I sit still. I stare. I am silent. I don’t even smile.

But how can that be? I just told you I think the show is hysterical?

The answer is that I’m in that mode. I’m loving it. I’m engaged. I’m impressed. I’m appreciative. But I’m silent.

What does this point have to do with you? My point is that next time your audience is silent and staring at you, you might very well be bombing. But there is a better chance that you are not bombing, and that you are interesting, engaging, and amusing. You might even be hysterical.

Your audience might be watching your presentation the same way I am watching Frasier. (Ok, if you’re working a comedy club, you probably need to step up the laughs-per-minute. But all the same, a couple of jokes that get a poor reaction might still be worth keeping in if you consider this Rule.)

There are a million reasons why they might not be laughing… but are still enjoying the presentation. Everything from the room set-up to the time of day to how tired they are to what came before you and what is coming after you. It might have nothing to do with you… they might just be in their watching-TV-mode.

So instead of freaking out, worrying, and considering yourself a total flop, consider the Frasier Rule.

Get over the fear of failure. You’ll never succeed at humor if you let this fear hang you up. And I’m convinced that this Frasier Rule might help you to worry less, take more chances, and be more funny.

For all of the details of the Frasier Rule and a ton of other humor-technique secrets revealed, click here.

Other Resources

Looking for some fun, new music? Check out OK GO and their home-made-ish video here. I like the music, but I love the video. (It’s impossible not to smile and tap your toes while you watch.)

But OK GO gets better, because of all the kids that sent in “reply” videos. Check out this fun video sent in from a bunch of High School aged girls. I don’t know what is funnier… the original or this answer.

Check out these online magic tricks, optical illusions, jokes, and some really funny photos.

Looking to Book a Speaker and need some Valuable Tips? Click Here.

Humor Resources

Would you like to hear what happens behinds the scenes from two working comics? Like to hear what comedians talk about when they are together?

Then you’ll enjoy this audio

It’s available for instant download from Brad Montgomery and his corporate comedian pal David Glickman.

Are you a believer in the power of levity and lightheartedness and its ability to help your organization get to where it deserves to be? Are you having trouble convincing the masses? Give us a call. We can help.

Book Brad For Your

Next Meeting

You received this email because at one time you have subscribed to this service. If you’d like to unsubscribe , just scroll all the way down and we’ll make it really easy for ya with one click!

Copyright © 2010 Brad Montgomery. All rights reserved

The details:

Brad Montgomery is a laugh-out-loud funny motivational
speaker, humor at work expert and Meeting Energizer. Speaking. Facilitation. Customized High-Energy Content Games. Master of Ceremonies, & Copy Boy.

Reach Brad at 800.624.4280 http://www.BradMontgomery.com

© 2010 Brad Montgomery Productions Inc., All rights reserved.
You are welcome to use material from this newsletter
in whole or in part, as long as you include complete
attribution, including live web site link. Please also
notify me where the material will appear.
If you want to change your email address or unsubscribe,
please don’t email me. Click the link at the very bottom.
Only takes a second or two to leave or to make changes.
Thanks! But before you do, think about this: what if
the next newsletter has the winning lotto numbers, and
every reader wins… but you? Hey, it could happen.
So don’t be too hasty.

PRIVACY and SPAM POLICY:

First of all, I hate Spam…
(unless it’s fried). I never rent, trade or sell my
email list to anyone for any reason whatsoever. Not
even if they give me $1 Million. (If they give
me $3 Million, you might be in trouble, but

seriously, what are the chances?) You’ll never
get an unsolicited email from a stranger

as a result of joining this list. Not that
I’m not pretty strange, but… well… you get the idea.

TYPOS!

Finally, some readers love to find typos, grammar errors and other sundry goofs. I occasionally leave them in just to make those people happy. So if you found some… Yippee! It’s you’re lucky day.

If you’re still reading this far down, you REALLY need to find a hobby. It’s over! All done.

Seriously dude. It’s time to get back to work. Don’t you have some email to return or something?

Ok, now you’re just pushing it. You need some serious help with time management. Move on baby! This thing is over!

Since you’re still here, here’s a video of a flash mob performance in Seattle. I love it for two reasons. One, the energy is undeniable. I’d love to be part of one, and I’d love to witness one. Second, what killer marketing for the TV show. Hire some dancers, and let YouTube have it’s way. I wish I had thought of it.

You must be craving more. Why are you here? I bet you have something that you SHOULD be doing but don’t want to. Clean your desk. Get coffee. Call your mom.

There has to be a better way to procrastinate than this!

Since you’re here …might as well check out my blog. (Hey! If you can’t fight it, embrace it!)