Looking for a way to increase you happiness? A PROVEN method to improve your quality of life? Easy peasy: make somebody ELSE happy. Encourage them. Congratulate them. Motivate them. It will make them happy, but the really cool thing is that it makes YOU happier.

This is the same science that makes the “pay the toll for the person behind you” concept, or buy a coffee for a stranger concept. Oddly, science proves that investing in somebody else makes us feel better.

It’s ironic; there is a selfish component helping others. It’s a concept called Selfish Selflessness. There is a very selfish component to giving, charity, and acting to improve others. Helping others helps us to be happier.

Want to prove it to yourself? Sure you do. If you don’t believe me, wait until you’re having a crappy day. Then do something generous for somebody else. Give out a well deserved (but rarely given) compliment. Buy somebody a gift when they don’t expect it. Help somebody with a chore when they’d least expect it. Cover for an office mate and send them home early to be with their kids. Do anything.

Heck… Instead of thinking about it. Do it now. Here’s how. Get out your cell phone change speakerand text somebody something nice.  Now.  Do it.

Still reading?  Then maybe you need some ideas about what to text. Pick one of these or be inspired:

(You can cut-and-paste. I won’t tell anybody and it still will make you feel happier.)

To somebody at work. Your assistant. Your partner. The new hire.

• “Thanks for holding things together as I work on this other project. I appreciate you and you are awesome!”

• “The work you did on that project yesterday was right on. Thanks for making our organization better. I appreciate you.”

•  “Thanks for saying “yes” when I offered you the job.  You’re everything we hoped for in an employee and more. Thanks for the good work.”

Or to your kids:

• “You’ve been working hard at school this year and I wanted you let you know I’m proud of you.”

• “Last night’s band concert was great. I’m so proud of you for sticking with the trombone for all of these years. I couldn’t be more proud.”

* Or just keep it simple:    “I’m proud of you.  I probably don’t tell you enough; but I think it all the time. I’m so lucky to be your dad.”  (Or mom.)

Or your partner:

• “I love you.  Thanks for grocery shopping yesterday.  It made my day when you surprised me with having that chore done. You’re awesome.”

•  “Thanks for taking care of the kids yesterday.  I didn’t feel great but you were awesome. I appreciate you. I love you.”

That’s it.  Get it? It’s not hard. Just the act of sending the text or the email will make your day better — and you happier.   Encouragement is good for others. It makes you a better leader. But it is also a bit selfish in that it will make YOU happier.


Brad Montgomery is a business speaker and motivational speaker.  He inspires people to get the most out themselves and those people around them. Give us a call or contact us here and we’ll talk about energizing your convention or meeting and your people.  Let’s give them the passion to be their best.

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