Everybody should be able to tell at least one joke. Here are a few of my favorites; they are easy to tell, and easy to memorize.
Barbie Joke [audio:http://www.bradmontgomeryresources.com/audio/mainsite/Joke.Barbie
One Legged Ballerina [audio:http://www.bradmontgomeryresources.com/audio/mainsite/Joke.one.legged.mp3]
Buddhist and HotDog
Hear Brad’s kids laughing & joking!
A Magician’s Interview
A magician goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer,knowing that magicians are stupid, decides to start with the basics. “So, sir, can you tell us your age, please?”
The magician counts carefully on his fingers for about 30 seconds before replying “Ehhhh … 22!”.
The interviewer tries another straight forward one to break the ice.”And can you tell us your height, please?”.
The magician stands up and produces a measuring tape from his hand bag. She then traps one end under his foot and extends the tape to the top of his head. He checks the measurement and announces, “Five foot two!”.
This isn’t looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics. “And ehh, just to confirm for our records, your name please?”
The magician bobs his head from side to side for about twenty seconds,mouthing something silently to himself, before replying, “Brad!”.
The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks “Just out of curiosity, sir, we can understand your counting on your fingers to work out your age, and the measuring tape for your height is obvious, but what were you doing when we asked you your name?”
“Ohh that!”, replies the magician, “That’s just me running through ‘Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you… “.
The Naked Statues
Two statues of naked people: man and woman. The statues are looking at each other longingly. An angel comes down from heaven and says, “I’ll make you human for 30 minutes so you can do what you’ve been dreaming of all these years.” So he does . The statues go behind the bushes.. There is rustling and happy noises. They come back 15 minutes later looking satisfied. “You have 15 min left… why don’t you do it again?” says the angel. “OK,” says the male statue to the female. “But this time I’ll hold the pigeon down so YOU can poop on him.”
A sister and brother are talking to each other when the little boy gets up, walks over to his Grandpa and says, “Grandpa, please make a frog noise.” Grandpa says, “No.” The little boygoes on, “Please…please make a frog noise.” Grandpa says, “No, now go play.” The little boy then says to his sister, “Go tell Grandpa to make a frog noise.” So the little girl goes to her Grandpa and says, “Please make a frog noise.” Grandpa says, “I just told your brother no and I’m telling you no.” The little girl says, “Please, please, Grandpa, make a frog noise.” Grandpa says, “Why do you want me to make a frog noise?” The little girl replied, “Because Mommy said when you croak we can go to Disney World!”