This cartoon cracked me up — and makes a legitimate point about comedians.

Sure, to be a great comedian or comedian speaker you have to have:

• Great Material
• Great Timing
• Appropriate Topis for Any Given Audience.

But most of all, you have to have confidence.  Audiences know right away when we are psyched-out and insecure.   It makes them feel uncomfortable, and really brings down our performance and ratings.

The hard part is that this confidence is nearly impossible to teach.  In my opinion, it just comes after years of experience and thousands — yes, thousands — of performances.

New to comedy? Just keep it up!   

Looking for a comedian speaker for your meeting or convention?  Consider me.*

Brad Montgomery
Comedian, Business Speaker, and Hyena-fobe
 (“Hey mom, I made up a word again!”

* Unless your audience is comprised of hyenas.  In which case I’ll pass.

I’ll never again speak in a gym.  Ever.  I’ve spoken to tons of youth and high school groups, and love the kids.  I love the teachers.  And I love the energy that only youth audiences can generate.  But I gotta tell you:  I’ve spoken in my last gym.

I’ll call it the First Rule Of BradNo Gyms.

Why?  The sound system is always bad.  Even the good ones are bad.  People cannot see.  Folks are sitting on those horrible bleachers so at the best they way spread out to your left to your right.  And at worst, they are on BOTH bleachers with you at the end of the gym.   (Can you say, “Hey Jim Bob!  I can’t see a darned thing from here!“)

Occasionally they’ll fill the gym up with folks sitting on the floor.  (Want to see a grumpy audience?  Put some high school kids on the floor for an hour.)

I know that with this new rule I have limited my market.  I know that many schools cannot physically fit their groups anywhere but in their gym.  But it isn’t worth it.  I promise my clients excellence and when I’m working in a gym  – if I’m being honest – the most I’m likely to provide is “pretty good.”

Heck, when I’m in a gym in front of 1200 students I could light myself on fire, scream and float over the audience in an Elvis suit and still have of the students would be saying, “I can’t see, what’s he doing?” or “What did he say? I can’t understand?

I love working for myself – I like to be the one who makes the rules.

Do you need a speaker?  I’d love to be your guy. Need to talk over YOUR rules for what you need for your organization?   Contact me here.

Brad Montgomery
Motivational Speaker, Keynote Speaker, Maker of Rules

Related:

Brad’s work as  Youth Motivational Speaker
Brad’s work as a Youth Motivational speaker on YouTube

Technorati Tags: Del.icio.us Tags:

I have a great job.  I love being a motivational speaker.  I love using my comedian skills to make groups laugh while they learn.   And I love meeting with and working with new people.

I also love giving stuff away.   I sell a program called Hooked on Humor, which is a one-year subscription to an audio series about how to use humor as a tool at work and at home.

But heck… in the spirit of merry and ho, I thought it would be fun to just give some away.

[audio:http://bradmontgomeryresources.com/hoh/hohaudio/HOH-1-Welcome.mp3]

Enjoy it.  What do I want as a gift from you? Leave a comment, and tell me what you think!    Cheers!

Buy the whole series of audios here.
Looking for a motivational keynote speaker for your conference, meeting or event?  You can hire me here:  contact.

Brad Montgomery
Motivational Keynote Speaker, Giver of Gifts, Blogger

Ok.  So it has nothing to do with the rest of my work.  But I couldn’t stop laughing.

Duck out of water? Holy Rapper, Batman. Sometimes we just have to stick with our strengths. But if this group would have followed that advice we wouldn’t have this totally great example of accidental humor. I wonder if thing was funny to them? Are they able to laugh at it too?

“Stop! Hammer Time!” Oh….. my ribs hurt!

“Take off your robes!?” Oye. I can’t breathe!!!

Ok, I admit it.  I spent too much time on this very cute web page.   And my kids loved it.

If you’re looking for a funny and clever way to pass the time, click here.

If you’re looking for a motivational speaker to make sure your employees don’t spend too much time on web pages like that one, I hope you’ll consider hiring me. Contact Me.

Cheers, Happy, Ho!
Brad Montgomery, Speaker, Occasional Procrastinator, Fan of Reindeer

Just ask her dad.

My daughter has Type 1 Diabetes and because of that, our family has become involved with the Colorado chapter of the American Diabetes Association.  And through her involvement with a diabetes summer camp, she was invited to speak for a few minutes at a fund raising event about her experience as a camper at this camp.

Guess what?  She killed!  It wasn’t easy:  the event was super high end, with heavy production.  Fancy spot lights, fancy staging, professional sound people ushering us around the stage… the whole shebang.  After this elaborate video was finished, they turned a spotlight on Claire and me.    Again… a fairly high psych-out value for a 11 year old.  I spoke for about 20 seconds, told a joke and introduced Claire.  She spoke for about about five minutes, (which is roughly the same length of time as the ice age if you are a kid on stage speaking to a bunch of formally dressed adults.)

She rocked the house.  She was awesome.  She was a star.

What’s my point?  I got nothing.  I’m just a proud parent bragging about one of my perfect kids.

Read another article about my take on diabetes and speaking.

Do you have an event where you need a speaker familiar with diabetes?  My kid is great, but if you need somebody with more experience I’d love to be your guy?  Diabetes Speaker?  Contact me here.

More info about my work as one of  the Colorado Speakers

Brad Montgomery
Diabetes Speaker, Dad of a Diabetic, Proud Papa

Flickr Tags:

I was a motivational speaker at an Air Force event a while back.  If anybody deserves a visit from a humorist, it had to be that group.  Check out this very cool, very makes-me-feel-awesome letter from one of the folks in the audience:

Brad,

I am sure that you dont remember me but we met two years ago at the Air Force Sergeants Association conference in Orlando, Florida.  Since your presentation I have been looking for that “little bit of magic” in everday life.
I was asked tonight about my thoughts about deployment and what others might be thinking or feeling about the location that they are in and the location that we are in (thank God we are in a less dangerous location).

I thought about the little bit of magic that you talked about when you gave your motivational presentation.  If I can get that person to say “How cool is that” where we are then I am doing ok.

I have longed to get a “squeeker” out of a childs toy and have fun with the people that I am deployed with.

I know that this is lame and I dont blame you if you dont want to answer…..do you have any little tidbits of wisdom that I can use on my folks to get them to smile.  I have been working with them for about 2 months now (give or take a week), and I think they might be getting a little tired of my bad jokes (but I still get a sad smile and a head shake so I am not giving up).

I dont care if they think “Hey the Shirt (slang for 1st Sergeant) is goofy”…… I live for Goofy.

You may never know (althought I hope you do) how much of a difference you have made on the many lives that you touched that August day in 2007.   I can not say THANK YOU enough.

Please keep up the good work and thank you again for your support of our fighting men and women. I am just a crusty old reservist that has more grey hair than sense but if I can help make a person smile then I can retire a happy man.

YOU ROCK!!!!!!!!

Tony

Tony… you made my day. And … it’s you who rock.  (Ok..we both rock.)   I’m absolutely floored.  Thanks so very much for taking the time and trouble to reach out to me.   I work for hundreds of audiences a year, and in this goofy motivational speaker job, you just never know if anybody is really listening.  So hearing from you was like a tonic.  And now I don’t even need the gin.

I think that Tony is asking the right question:  how can I make this job more bearable and fun for my team?  The answers aren’t always obvious, even to me — and I think about this stuff a bunch.  But the very fact that Tony is thinking about it makes him a better manager, a better leader, and a better friend.  He’s the kind of guy we’d all like to work for… the kind of leader who is trying to make things better for the rest of us.

Hey Military audiences!  (And corporate groups… I’m not picky.)  If YOU need a motivational speaker or humorist or keynote speaker or…. if you need a laugh and a solid connection to what you are trying to accomplish at work… I hope you’ll pick me.  Contact me here.   Visit my main site here.

Brad Montgomery
Air Force Speaker, Fan of the Military, Squeaker!

PS.  I sent Tony and his guys a whole pile of stuff.  (And a regrettably short letter about humor in the mitary… something I honestly don’t know enough about.)  Guess what was in the box?   : )

I’m part of the National Speakers Association, and some of the Certified Speaking Professionals recently had a e-conversation that started with this great question:

Who do you THINK (you do not have to be right!) is the most expensive keynoter on the market today?
Here are some of the best responses:

  • I’d go with Bill Clinton. I understand he’s a million dollars.When he isn’t speaking for free.   — Janelle Barlow  
     
  • One speaker guessed Donald Trump at $1 Million an hour – 3 hour contract.
  • Paris Hilton was guessed by another speaker pal, also at $1 million for an hour.
  • Motivational speaker Warren Evans CSP from Toronto, Canada wrote   “Just recently talking with a planner overseas for whom I am doing a gig  this spring. She tells me thought of bringing Lance Armstrong in, but he wants $750,000 for an hour.   If she can find a sponsor, however, to do a tour . . . he’ll do 4 days, or was it 5?, for a flat million.  Richard Branson is $150,000: same event. Course, these are US dollars, so it’s not as expensive as it sounds . . .
     
  • Motivational Speaker Scott Mckain added this:  This isn’t a current speaker, but legend has it that the most money ever paid for a keynote went to Art Linkletter.  Walt Disney asked Linkletter to be the speaker and emcee of the opening of Disneyland in July 1955. However, Disney had spent every nickel on the attraction, and didn’t have the money to pay Linkletter to speak. So, Linkletter said he’d give the opening address for the park — if Disney would give him all of the sales of film and camera accessories for twenty-five years. Disney agreed.  I’ve never seen a precise dollar amount — but, can you even begin to fathom how many rolls of film, flash bulbs, and other pre-digital items were sold at DISNEYLAND over a quarter of a century? Has to be the highest paid presentation of all time…   And, by the way…Linkletter is still speaking! 

But my favorite answer came from keynote speaker Jeffrey Hansler 

  • Well, the most expensive keynoter was the guy that charged $2000 and then destroyed the entire purpose of the meeting – now that was expensive….

So what do YOU think? What is the most expensive keynote speaker?

If you want a keynote speaker who can make a difference for your organization and don’t have the $1 million for Paris Hilton, perhaps you’ll consider me? Contact me directly here.

Technorati Tags:

After much anticipation, the long-awaited first edition of the “Humor in the Workplace” Blog Carnival has arrived!! Response for this first edition was pretty awesome so thanks are due to all who submitted. Now, I’ll preface this edition to state that humor is in the eye of the beholder – or reader in this case. ‘Nuff said.

Getting a jump start on the holiday season, this edition’s participators will be introduced to the tune of “Twelve Days of Christmas“. Yes, I know………you’ll be humming that song for the rest of the day. It’s not like you won’t hear it in every store you enter from now until December 25th so I may as well get the ball rolling! Without further ado………..

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
A contract for Christmas Parties

On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
One office prank and a contract for Christmas parties.

On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Three angry workers, one office prank and a contract for Christmas parties. (one, two, three)

On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
One clepto granny, three angry workers, one office prank and a contract for Christmas parties.

On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
One clever bee! One klepto granny, three angry workers, one office prank and a contract for Christmas parties.

On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Online gaming insight, one clever bee! One klepto granny, three angry workers, one office prank and a contract for Christmas parties.

On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Flight attendant training, online gaming insight, one clever bee! One klepto granny, three angry workers, one office prank and a contract for Christmas parties.

On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Work-at-home-mom dress codes, flight attendant training, online gaming insight, one clever bee! One klepto granny, three angry workers, one office prank and a contract for Christmas parties.

On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Computer rules for dummies, work-at-home-mom dress codes, flight attendant training, online gaming insight, one clever bee! One klepto granny, three angry workers, one office prank and a contract for Christmas parties.

On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Two hiring handbooks, computer rules for dummies, work-at-home-mom dress codes, flight attendant training, online gaming insight, one clever bee! One klepto granny, three angry workers, one office prank and a contract for Christmas parties (one, two).

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Tips to handle “humor”, two hiring handbooks, computer rules for dummies, work-at-home-mom dress codes, flight attendant training, online gaming insight, one clever bee! One klepto granny, three angry workers, one office prank and a contract for Christmas parties.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Advice for lazy students, tips to handle “humor”, two hiring handbooks, computer rules for dummies, work-at-home-mom dress codes, flight attendant training, online gaming insight, one clever bee! One klepto granny, three angry workers, one office prank and a contract for Christmas parties!

>>>>>

Thanks to all of our bloggers for submitting to the carnival. We’ll do it again in about one month. If you are interested in submitting to our next carnival, contact us here or by emailing kirstie “at” bradmontgomery.com

>>>>>
Technorati Tags: Del.icio.us Tags:

I got this spam email which made me laugh out loud.

I was looking at websites under the keyword Women doctor montgomery and came across your site bradmontgomery.com. I see that you’re ranked #5 on page 17 in google.

I won’t honor the idiots with a link, but darn!  That’s funny!  Golly, if they can’t find me by Googling “women doctor Montgomery” I am surely a failure at the internet thing.  

In related news, I’m ranked #77 on page 6576 in Google if you search “elves montgomery beard shoes”

Looking for a motivational speaker and don’t care that my site ranks poorly for “woman doctor?”  I’d love to be your guy.  Let’s make your event rock.  Contact me here.

Cheers,

Brad Montgomery
Motivational Speaker, Lover of Funny Spam Email, Woman Doctor*

 

*Not really a woman doctor.    (I’m not a doctor.**)

**  Ok, you got me.  I’m not a woman either.