Ok, I admit it. I hate the tacky Christmas letters. They go on and on about fabulous vacations, wonderful kids, amazing jobs, new houses… blah blah, barf barf.

I wrote up this mock / spoof Christmas letter to send out with our cards. I never sent it… even I thought it was too dark. But it seemed like a good enough comment on those horrible letters and I thought you might like it.  I think it’s funny… what do you think?

Holiday Update, 2006

Well, we made it through another year. It hasn’t been bad… certainly not wonderful. Here are some highlights:

We are married, still, but just barely. (Thank God for the guest room.) If it wasn’t for that #@!%^&# verdict, and Brad’s parole officer’s — BITCH! — “strong advice” that he not set off alone again, he’d be in Vegas. We see each other as often as necessary, but when you put your mind to it, it doesn’t have to be that much. Kim is at the dogtrack most days, and Brad spends days at a local bar with some of his friends from the “inside.” The kids do surprisingly well as ‘latchkey’ children.

Kim’s job is… well… a job. What the heck do you want? Paradise? She hates it still, but who wouldn’t? She’d quit, but then who’d pay for necessities like cable and the Budweiser? And the nightshift helps with the marital strife.

Brad is “between jobs” again. (Kim says: I think he oughta call a spade a spade and call himself a lazy, good-for-nothin’ piece of …. But if he wants to go with “between opportunities” I guess it’s no skin off my back.)

We tried a couple of vacations, neither of which turned out any good. We tried to go to the Holidome and Jumbo Pool Slide a couple of hundred miles from here. But after about 18 hours of fighting we just called it off, came home and rented some movies.

Then off to see Kim’s family in $#%@$$-ing Kansas. If we didn’t already feel bad enough about ourselves, Kim’s folks pretty much finished the job. Without our knowledge, the kid’s spent the whole time there in a “adult novelty and Chicago-style-pizza” shop her loser brother runs, and no have a vocabulary you wouldn’t believe. If we weren’t so buzzed on her Dad’s homebrew we would have been really ticked off. And her mom gave us all food poisoning, which at least one of us thinks was done on purpose. At least we “got away.”

Kids are doing ok, I guess. They are still in school, which sorta makes us both proud. Hey! Not everybody is gonna be at the top of the class. Having kids, as you may know, is no picnic. All I can say is that if I have to take another funny-nosed-whining-never-say-thank-you kid to another friggin’ soccer game I’m gonna put a fork in my eye.

School is bull #[email protected]&. Thanks to the principal’s new %#$%@ Health and Fitness campaign, our oldest came home harping on our quitting our Marlboro “habit.” Habit? Heck… those little fire sticks give us joy in a world dead set against it. We’ve paid taxes for years — or at least since we were caught — and I’d ask that ^%$#@$ principal to stop brainwashing our kids against us, thank you very much. Health and fitness in school? Next thing you know they’ll be teaching them socialism and history and crap.

Seriously, we are doing well. Surprisingly well. We’re happily married… except when Brad leaves the seat up. Everybody is healthy and content. Kim is working more on writing and less in the law. Brad is still a speaker/magician/comedian. The kids, aged 5, 8 and 10 are healthy and are still cute. We don’t hate soccer (that much).

And we all enjoy having friends like you.

Yours, Kim and Brad Montgomery

What do you think? Should I send it?

Brad Montgomery
Motivational Keynote Speaker, Humorist, Fan of Humor in Christmas Letters

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Both, of you ask me. When I was a kid I loved this guy. His TV specials made me want to become a magician.

We miss him. (He died a few years ago.)

I just ran into the cool quote from Doug, and thought you’d be interested:

Wonder is very necessary in life. When weíre little kids, we’re filled
with wonder for the world — it’s fascinating and miraculous. A lot of people lose that. They become cynical and jaded, especially in modern day society. Magic renews that wonder.

Dude! You were a skilled and totally entertaining magician. Sometimes a bit weird, but always charming and totally authenitic. Thanks for being an inspiraion.

Check out what Doug Henning (helped to) inspire here.

Brad Montgomery
Motivational Speaker, Magician, Fan of Doug Henning

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Proof! Humor can make you healthy.

I had the lucky pleasure of meeting a kind woman named Sandi at Pure Romance training event in Ohio (where I was doing my motivational speakers thing.) Sandy shared with me that she had been going through some tough times; her dad is dying of cancer.


We’ve been in touch with an ongoing discussion about her dad’s amazing sense of humor; and how he has kept up the smiles, laughter, and practical jokes throughout this ordeal.

This latest email from Sandi just blew me away. Check it out…

I am just writing you today to give you an update on my dad and to ask you a question. first the update. My dad is still hanging in there. He is terminal and his time is getting closer. I took a temporary leave of absence from work to help him in his final days.

My dad still has his humor. Today when the hospice nurse was over, she was new and has not been warned about my dad. while doing the regular blood pressure check and things went to look at his tonsils because he said his throat hurt. When he opened his mouth, out came your fake tounge with a nut and bolt in it.

I thought the nurse was going to have a heart attack! She screamed and jumped back. It was hilarus. but the moral to my story is that his blood pressure was a little high before his joke, and after she re took it after and it was normal. Laughter really does help to heal.

I can not thank you enough for doing what you do. You bring laughter to so many people. and I am seeing first hand just how much it really helps. My dad should have been gone a long time ago, but with his “practical jokes” that he plays on everyone, me included, it keeps our spirits up and help us not to loom over what we all know is coming.

There it is! The smoking gun. Proof that humor makes you better.


My point?
This brave man would surely advise the rest of us NOT to wait until we are dying to start to access more humor, laughter and a sense of lightness. If laughter can improve and inspire this man, couldn’t it help us with our (comparitively lame) problems?

CHeck out my Motivational Speakers website about humor in the workplace keynotes and humor and healthcare trainings and seminars here.

Brad Montgomery
Motivational Keynote Speaker, Humorist, Humor and Healthcare Speaker

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This guy needs a hobby. He apparently thinks it’s fun to stuff poisonous snakes in his mouth for fun. Hasn’t he heard of checkers? Or maybe needle point?

Thanks Yahoo
Mouthfull : Jackie Bibby, aka “The Texas Snakeman,” holds in his mouth ten 2 ft. 6-inch-long western diamondback rattlesnakes for 12.5 seconds without any assistance to set a new Guinness World Record for Most Live Rattlesnakes Held In Mouth.

I’m glad he has passion about something, but sheesh!

Learn about how we can have some fun without stuffing reptiles into our pie-holes here.
Brad Montgomery
Humor in the Workplace Speaker, Motivational Speaker, Humorist

In this episode, I interview corporate comedian and inspirational / motivational speaker Steve Rizzo. Based out of New York, Steve uses his skills learned as a stand up comedian in his current job as a motivational speaker to teach people how to find their inner Humor Being.steve rizzo

Steve has been a friend for a long time, when we met in Kansas City at a speakers bureau showcase, and I’ve always thought he was funny.
But in this conversation, you’ll hear the serious part of Steve. I always think that it is fascinating to hear people who are professionally funny step OUT of their humorist shoes and talk about the impact of humor and laughter.

Steve Rizzo talks about enjoying the process of living, and enabling ourselves to have and better use our senses of humor.

One of the many points he makes is that although most successful corporate employees will have definable goals and to do lists, very few of them include “enjoying ourselves along the way” on their lists of goals. And that if we want to learn from them, we need to systematically choose to use humor in our lives, and to enjoy ourselves, our families and our jobs.

Steve believes that the ability to use our senses of humor is available to all of us; to everybody on the planet. And that although we might not be always able to teach all people how to be funny, we can teach everybody how to laugh at funny things.

We need to know that there is a difference between laughing at something that is very serious and laughing at the fear that the serious situation creates. For example, Steve reminds us that the successful TV comedy M*A*S*H* used a ton of black humor. And that Hawkeye was one of the most successful doctors not only due to his skills in the operating room, but also because he was most able to keep his life (and sanity) in the balance through his use of humor.

Want to hear a comedian talk in a serious way about humor? Then this episode is for you.

Want to learn about my work as a motivational comedian speaker? Click here.

Brad Montgomery
Motivational Keynote Speaker, Comedian, Humorist, Fan of Steve Rizzo

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Ok, sometimes I have some pretty cool, deep thoughts here in this blog.  But now we have today’s post. :)
Here’s something you can do while you should be working. And nobody will even know you’re procrastinating!

1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor
and make Clockwise circles with it.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number “6” in the air in front of
you with your Right hand.

Your foot will change direction.

Give this a go as a “warm up” to start off your next meeting, and see if you don’t help spring people out of their right brain and into some creativity.
What’s my point? I don’t have one. Sometimes we’re supposed to just have fun.

Brad Montgomery
Motivational Speaker, Procrastinator, Humor in the Workplace Speaker

PS. I can’t do it either.

There is more and more scientific evidence for about the healing power of humor. (Check out the American Association of Theraputic Humor for more on this weird and cool connection between humor and health.) If I worked in health care, there is no way I wouldn’t order me up a buschul full of these bad boys!

Check out these sterile face-masks with printed animal faces.

These “Get Well Soon Masks” are sterile hospital masks intended to evince a smile from sick people — less creepy and mouthless than the traditional mime-white version. Link

(Thanks, Boing Boing!)

Your patient (and customer!) would have to be asleep to not react to you when you wear one of these goofy medical face masks. Not only would that be good for the patient (because, as I said before, humor heals.) But it would be good for business.

My point: humor in the workplace is fun. But it can create tangible and measurable benefits for you and your customers; it can change your bottom line. Take a chance; play!

Need a motivational speaker to speak to your hospital or health care group? Just need a laugh? Call me.

Brad Montgomery
Health Care Motivational Speaker, Humor & the Workplace Speaker and Consultant, Fan of Cat Faces

Happiness and Science Finally Get it Right!

Don’t you just love it when you get something right?

Scientists have finally made a measurable connection between positive thinking and happiness. More than money, family, pets, or security, what makes us most happy is actually going through a process of noticing what makes us happy, and then try to think WHY those happy things occured.

Story link

The result, common sense tells us (and now science too) is that this type of exercise is that through our ENTIRE day we concentrate on the good things that happen. (Because we’ll have to report them later.) And when we focus on the good, the bad becomes less important.

Every night, she was to think of three good things that happened that day and analyze why they occurred. That was supposed to increase her overall happiness.

“I thought it was too simple to be effective,” said Miller, 44, of Bethesda. Md. “I went to Harvard. I’m used to things being complicated.”

I’ve been telling this to my audiences forever. My game is to play “How Cool is That!?” (You can HEAR me describe this game here: https://www.bradmontgomery.com/bonus )

I’m so glad for this news… this will be one of the three things today that made ME happy.

Cheers!

Brad Montgomery
Motivational Keynote Speaker, Humorist Comedian, Happy Guy

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Ok, I’m not even sure what to say about his photo of a public toilet in Vienna. Except that — in spite of the fact that it is totally inappropriate for a public restroom — it makes me laugh.

An urinal shaped like the mouth of a woman are seen at a public toilet near Vienna’s national opera, on Thursday, Oct. 19, 2006. The businessman who runs the toilet announced Thursday that he would get rid of the urinals, after facing pressure from politicians who demanded their removal.

Can you imagine having this thing in your company’s bathroom? Wouldn’t this create a stir if it was in a government building?

Although it makes me laugh, it would be sure to piss off a few people. (Pun intended.) ButI think that the effort this artist took to make even the most mundane of our human activies fun is absolutely right on.

My point? That life is supposed to be fun, even the part of life we spend taking “bio breaks.” If I had a huge company, I’d hire this urinal-artist in a snap to create a bunch of fun even in the most boring room in the office. Nope.. this particular idea isn’t appropriate, but the concept cracks me up. A urninal shaped like a fire hydrant? Or a rock? A tree? A desk? Now we’re getting closer.
Need some humor in your workplace and can’t afford a plumber? :)

Check out my motivational keynote speeches here.

Thanks Yahoo. Yahoo! News

Brad Montgomery
Motivational Keynote Speaker, Humorist, User of Public Bathrooms

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I met a good man who recently asked advice about how to best become a motivational or professional speaker. My advice? Well, I have a bunch of advice for wanna be speakers, but on the top of the list is to become a member of the National Speakers Association.national speakers association

I’m a proud member of the national (and Colorado chapter) of the National Speakers Association, and I gotta say, it’s been more than worth my investment. As a good friend and fellow Colorado speaker once told me, “Brad, the NSA is like community college for speakers. Join!” Sounded good then, sounds even better now.

Want to know how to become a motivational speaker or professional speaker? Start with the NSA.

Brad Montgomery
Motivational Keynote Speaker, Member of the National Speakers Association

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