Brad Montgomery, Motivational Speaker » Humor

What’s so funny?

admin — Sat, 01 Jul 2006 08:24:04 +0000

by Dr. Joseph Michelli

Some fortunate children are exposed to adults who know the constructive value of a well-placed misdirection or exaggeration, while others are subjected to often joyless, overly serious adults.

I have been lecturing nationally for a number of years on the use of humor in a variety of different situations. During these presentations, I typically teach humor skills and the value of humor in handling difficult people at work, managing change and improving immune functioning or overall health.

During this time, I also have privately experimented with the role humor plays in raising children. These experiments have been conducted on my resident laboratory animals, Andrew (6) and Fiona (2-1/2).

In 1996, I had the good fortune of meeting Jim Fay, who was a guest on my nationally syndicated radio show, Wishing You Well. Jim’s wisdom and clarity about parenting were paralleled by his heartwarming stories.

During the interview, Jim’s reflections on parenting frequently were witty and light- hearted. He seemed to suggest that adults can avoid overreacting to the “crisis du jour” by gaining distance through humor. This radio interview led to other conversations about humor and parenting and ultimately to a new book from the Love and Logic Press entitled Humor, Play and Laughter: Stress- proofing Life with Your Kids.

Why Humor?

Helping parents and teachers gain or regain the power of humor skills can greatly facilitate a Love and Logic approach to raising children. This benefit occurs in large measure because humor offers the opportunity to distance oneself from initial reactions to children’s behavior.

It is in this slightly removed place that we often can most effectively craft loving and logical responses to children’s behavior. Additionally, teaching children the appropriate timing, location and use of humor has a variety of benefits for them in their social, intellectual and emotional development.

Charles Shultz, the creator of Peanuts comic, said it best when he noted, “The greatest gift we can give the next generation is the ability to laugh at themselves.”

Humor Appreciation vs. Humor Skills

Most people think of humor as a “sense.” much like taste vision or hearing. In fact, humor can be looked at as either a cognitive set (a way of looking at life or a group of skills for enhancing the enjoyment of life by others.

A humorous attitude represents a willingness to track absurdity or incongruity with a spirit of amusement or whimsy. Its been said that people with excellent humor appreciation can find “great joy during detours.

Learning to be amused, as opposed to agitated, by the unexpected or unpredictable behavior of children is critical to surviving their volatility. Similarly, knowing how to produce humor can greatly enhance the cooperation and mood of a non-cooperative child.

Enhancing Humor Appreciation

We are what we track. When my wife was. pregnant seemed like everyone was pregnant. When I bought my new car everyone else had purchased the same car – even in the same color.

Since much our life is spent tracking things such as our children’s misbehavior, bills and possible corporate downsizing, it is no wonder that humor appreciation skills can become rusty.

Comedian and author Steve Allen noted that the “funniest things in life are the unintended humor of reality.” All of us would benefit from becoming more awake to the unintended humor moments of parenting and teaching.

Additionally, we can encourage children to develop their “comic vision” as a central way to enhance the experience of humor in our homes and classrooms.

Simple techniques like keeping a journal of funny events, placing humorous cartoons on the refrigerator or chalkboard and sharing the absurd events of the day can encourage and enhance the humor awareness of family member and classroom members.

Humor Production

By spending a small amount of time learning and practicing the basics of comedy, parents and teachers can become far more effective at producing and using humor at home or in the classroom. Please realize that I am no talking about telling jokes.

Recent research suggests that 90 percent of people don’t tell jokes particularly well; unfortunately, that does not stop a lot of them from trying. By humor production skills, I primarily, mean such things as good news/bad news techniques, exaggeration and misdirection.

A friend recently told me how she and her 7-year-old daughter, Sarah, colluded to misdirect her husband and ultimately the behavior of Sarah.

Sarah apparently had the habit of wiping her hands on her clothing, as opposed to her napkin. In response to this Sarah’s father continually encouraged, begged and even bribed her to use better manners. Despite these efforts on her father’s part, Sarah’s behavior had not changed.

Prior to an upcoming meal, Sarah’s mother advised her to hide her napkin on her lap so Sarah’s father could not see it. She further instructed her to wipe her hands on her napkin in a way that caused Sarah’s father to think she was engaging in her typical behavior.

When Sarah’s father began his verbal disapproval of Sarah’s dining habits, she and her mother began to laugh and Sarah waved the hidden napkin at her father. While Sarah and her mother had misdirected Sarah’s father, Sarah’s own behavior had been misdirected away from wiping her hands on her clothing to using the napkin.

Many examples of humor production techniques and activities can be found in Humor, Play and Laughter: Stress-Proofing Life With Your Kids (hint!, hint!)

Opportunities abound for creative use of humor techniques with our children, and when all else fails we can turn these techniques back toward us. Using humor to cope with parenting and teaching enable us to take our jobs as parents and teachers seriously but to take ourselves lightly.

I believe that laughter in a classroom can facilitate learning and that families that laugh – last. With practice using humor, play and laughter in the classroom and in family life, we can lessen stress and strengthen bonds with children.

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Play is the essence of humor

admin — Sat, 01 Jul 2006 08:08:46 +0000

Play is the essence of humor

by Dan Gascon

“Slow down and enjoy life. It’s not only the scenery you miss by going too fast – you also miss the sense of where you are going and why.”

Eddie Cantor

Play is the highest, most important function in determining and maintaining your sense of humor. Just look at it’s definition: Play (Amuse oneself; take part in a game; behave without care or worry; trifle; act the part of; perform; move with light and irregular motions.) Play is something you can never outgrow, it has no age, race, or moral exclusions. It is a quintessential human need that is often the most forgotten self-help technique. It is the perfect companion of delight and bliss.

Play is one of the best ways to retain and learn. It improves the quality of life, breeds creativity, spontaneity, invention and originality. Play strips away barriers, making us real. It provides a greater avenue of expression than just words and allows all people to define themselves. Play mobilizes our energy to lift us out of guilt, despair and sorrow. Play requires us to lose our fear of being rejected or wrong, works through unresolved problems and releases negative energy. Play promotes communication, compassion and empathy. The act of play, as witnessed in infants, is the first form of human communication. It has the ability to transcend any generational or cultural gap by putting us all on even ground.

The number one rule of play is: There are no rules

Within reason, each individual must do whatever they are drawn to do. The actual form play can take is infinite and as varied as the imagination behind it. It is a purely personal expression that can be a solo effort or involve any number of participants.

If you need some guidance on figuring out what is your play, follow these four steps:

1. BE WILLING. Realize this is a sure-fire way to make your life sweeter. It is solely your undertaking. Be committed, just for the fun of it!

2. GO TO YOUR STRENGTHS. Look into your past. Are you athletic, creative, quiet, bold? You will be able to find a forgotten passion.

3. CHALLENGE YOURSELF. What is the something(s) that you’ve always wanted to do or try? Do or try it.

4. SET REGULAR ENGAGEMENTS. Three hours of play-time a week is the absolute minimum requirement. The more the merrier.

Once you’ve identified, refined or added to your play-time you will get an instant and constant boost of joy in all areas of your life. Play allows your sense of humor to flow. Affirm this by telling jokes and funny stories, like this one:

Sherlock Holmes decided that the pressures and stress of being the world’s greatest detective were getting to much for him and Watson, so he decided it was time to go play. They decided to go out in nature to hike and camp. After a great day in the outdoors they had gone to bed and were lying there looking up at the sky.

Sherlock says, “Watson, look up. What do you see?”

“Well I see thousands of stars.” Watson replied.

“And what does that mean to you?” Holmes countered.

“Well I guess it means we will have another nice day tomorrow. What does it mean to you Holmes?”

“To me my dear Watson, it means someone has stolen our tent.”

Remember; Creative work is play!

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Keys to telling jokes

admin — Sat, 01 Jul 2006 08:08:02 +0000

Keys to telling jokes

by Dan Gascon

The classic art of telling a joke is as old as the spoken word. Like music, it is a universal language. Jokes can be a very powerful force because by nature, they are two-sided. Jokes can bond or separate, heal or destroy, and be a vehicle for love or hatred. You must be aware. One can never say, It’s just a joke. There is always a meaning behind any jest, and by telling it or participating in it, you are choosing to endorse whatever that joke is representing. There are four things you need to understand in order to successfully tell or participate in any joke.

The 4 Keys to Telling Jokes

1. Know your audience.

Literally look and make a check of exactly who you are among. What’s their age, background, beliefs and likely personal tastes?

2. Know what is appropriate.

What is acceptable in content, language and situation in order not to be offensive. Again, know your audience.

3. Know when to proceed.

Picking the right moment or timing can make or break it. It comes easy with observation, self-trust and practice.

4. Accept that sometimes the joke isn’t told well.

Everyone has experienced nerves, memory loss, or used bad judgement to botch, blow or ruin a joke. It’s easy to recover; laugh it off by laughing at yourself; tell another one; if necessary, apologize; be calm and wait for another day. Be sure to laugh generously at other’s honest attempts.

To use your sense of humor effectively, and be the most universally accepted when telling a joke, make sure the comedy goes both ways; that the laugh bonds, not separates; and that it relieves tension, not creates it. Use positive humor of lightness, boundaries, love and letting go.

“When you’re telling jokes, try your best. If that doesn’t work – try somebody else’s best.”
Sammy Cahn

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Illness is a laughing matter

admin — Sat, 01 Jul 2006 08:07:07 +0000

Illness is a laughing matter

by Dan Gascon

Many of us sometimes feel that when we are physically sick that the illness is in control of us. We feel we must also appear downtrodden, troubled, immobile and not in good spirits. Sadly, when it involves someone else, there can be a tendency to shy away from them. Your sense of humor allows you to choose, think, and be otherwise.

“Humor gives us freedom to act. Patients can be so paralyzed by conflicts and self-imposed restrictions that they forget that they are free to act to change their circumstances.”
Dr. Weeled A. Salameh

Humor can be used as a medication to soothe, defer and alleviate. It improves moods, boosts immune systems, lowers blood pressure and speeds recovery time. It copes with anything, even the challenge of a hospital stay or just going for medical attention. It is an essential tool that is common with doctor, nurse and patient alike.

“Let the surgeon take care to regulate the whole regime of the patient’s life for joy and happiness, allowing his relatives and special friends to cheer him, and by having someone tell him jokes. The surgeon must rebel against anger, hatred and sadness in the patient and remind him that the body grows fat from joy and thin from sadness.”
Henri de Mondeville

Humor is a therapeutic, healthy and natural way to heal. Gentle and appropriate jokes, smiles and laughter are never more effective and appreciated than when we are under the weather.

12 THINGS HUMOR GIVES WHERE ILLNESS LIVES

1. HELPS the person step back from their illness.

2. GAINS perspective and a breath of fresh air.

3. SHOWS them that there is more to life than just physical disabilities.

4. OPENS minds to realities that are fun, joyous and light.

5. MAKES them smile.

6. ACHIEVES states that are tranquil, flowing and worry-free.

7. VALIDATES the fact that although someone may be seriously ill or in the process of dying, at the moment, they are alive!

8. INVOLVES everyone in conversation.

9. INSULATES against loneliness and fear.

10. IS A SIGN of approval, caring, compassion and connection.

11. LOVES them with lightness and joy.

12. LIFTS THE SPIRIT AND SPEEDS RECOVERY!

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Humor Tips at Work and School

admin — Sat, 01 Jul 2006 08:05:31 +0000

Humor Tips at Work and School

by Dan Gascon

Believing it is healthy, acceptable and necessary to use humor at work and school is the new wave of the second millenium.

“People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing.”
Dale Carnigie

“There are no Menial jobs. Just menial attitudes.”
William J. Beaumont

“Find a job you love and you will never work a day in your life.”
Proverb

“I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.”
Mark Twain

If you feel things are too serious in your situation, understand that you may be believing the old saying; “If your having fun, you can’t be working.” Logic tells us this is just not the case. People who truly enjoy their work and school can’t wait to get there and can’t really tell the difference between them and play. This is sometimes confused with being a “workaholic” but the people who are fun loving toward their work are less stressed, do a better job and are filled with pride. They are often the among the most popular, love to play, are witty, energetic, creative and positive, are great teachers and just fun to be around.

Using your sense of humor at work and school is the perfect tool to get more pleasure out of your day. If you feel blocked from doing so, there are three major reasons why;

1. YOU FEAR WE MIGHT OFFEND OTHERS.

2. YOU BELIEVE WE WON’T BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY.

3. YOU THINK OTHERS WON’T ALLOW YOU TO HAVE FUN.

If you use your humor appropriately, in moderation, respect the boundaries of your situation and give people time to get used to the idea of initiating humor and having some fun, you will be surprised how quickly it is accepted and anticipated. Introduce it gradually with small steps and take your cues from others attempts it will be embraced and adopted quickly.

In our fast-paced world, people and good organizations are always looking for solutions to combat stress and burnout. Humor is the happiest tool for any business to sweeten success!

Humor at Work and School

* Reduces Stress

* Boosts Morale

* Facilitates Change

* Improves Communication

* Relieves Boredom

* Builds Confidence

Always remember to make time to break from your work and studies to relax and recharge with fun, smiles and laughter. Here are five tips to help you along:

1. LIGHTEN UP. Things can only be as serious as you want to make them.

2. LET GO OF YOUR NEED FOR CONTROL. You can’t be on top of everything and everybody at all times.

3. EMBRACE CHANGE. It is a constant. Work with it.

4. BE SPONTANEOUS. Be willing to break form your routine.

5. SMILE. It is the curve that sets everything straight.

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Evaluate your sense of humor

admin — Sat, 01 Jul 2006 08:04:44 +0000

Evaluate your sense of humor

By Dan Gascon

So how aware are you of your beliefs about smiling, laughing, mirth, humor and life in general?

Well, don’t just sit there, grab a pen or pencil and ask yourself twenty questions to evaluate your sense of humor.

Answer each question from 1 – 7, and remember there are no right or wrong answers here. This is just a guideline to give you a base to work from. Be honest with yourself; don’t dwell on any question.

Enjoy!

Your Sense of Humor Evaluation

(1-never 2-almost never 3-seldom 4-sometimes 5-often 6-almost always 7-always)

1. I have a lot of laughs.
2. I have a lot of fun.
3. I laugh at my own mistakes.
4. I think happy, fun and uplifting thoughts.
5. I am spontaneous.
6. I like to hear and tell jokes.
7. I take myself lightly at work.
8. I like to watch and read humorous material.
9. I take responsibility for my own happiness.
10. I consider other’s feelings before I attempt any humor.
11. I surround myself with positive family and friends.
12. I plan time to play.
13. I avoid giving offense with my humor.
14. I like to hear and tell funny life stories.
15. I use my sense of humor to cope in unpleasant times.
16. I like to act silly.
17. I plan and take time for vacations.
18. I am happy to give of myself.
19. I use my sense of humor to deal with stress.
20. I believe the more I laugh, the healthier I am.

Add your Score:

Well, let’s see where your mind is at.

If your score was between 115-140, you have an excellent humor concept and attitude. Whether you realize it or not, you are a humor teacher and well on your way to really influencing others. This book will aid you a great deal in that process.

If your score was between 85-114, your concept and attitude are good and right in the “healthy” North-American average. This book will be an excellent tool for you to bump it up a notch.

Between 50-84, is fair. You probably feel you really need this and may even be a little “Humor-challenged” (Get the Guidebook). You will have a good time with this book. Take the evaluation again when you’ve finished reading and compare your scores. You’ll be impressed.

If you scored 25-49, you are officially; “Humor-challenged” (Get the Guidebook)You have brought up some issues and perhaps, you were a little hard on yourself? This book will be quite an experience for you.

If you answered 24 or less with honesty and sincerity – Yikes! Take it again another day or you might be best to seek further professional advice.

“I think, therefore I am. (Ergo cogito sum.)”

Descartes

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10 Appropriate Humor Tips

admin — Sat, 01 Jul 2006 08:03:40 +0000

10 Appropriate Humor Tips

by Dan Gascon

All you have to do to become more confident in being appropriate with your humor is to be open, aware, practice and follow these tips:

10 Things That Can Make Humor Appropriate

1. Always consider your audience first.

2. Intend to invoke smiles, joy and laughs.

3. Introduce it gradually.

4. Trust your instincts.

5. Be diplomatic.

6. See the good clean fun in the situation.

7. Enjoy it yourself.

8. Be able to take it yourself.

9. Use set-ups that prepare your audience.

10. Share the spotlight.

Always remember to be tactful and honest with your sense of humor. If you give it freely and often, it will make you a healing humor force.

“If you pay attention to other’s needs and feelings,

you will rarely be guilty of letting bad timing turn positive into negative humor.”

C.W. Metcaff

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The six amazing powers of laughter

admin — Sat, 01 Jul 2006 08:03:01 +0000

The six amazing powers of laughter

By Dan Gascon

Laughter is the medicine of the soul and the sound of its healing. Laughter is a gift with no cultural, social or spiritual exemptions. No matter how people laugh, it is an illustration of joy, happiness, personality, character, mood and situation. It is pure human expression.

1. Can transcend any situation.

2. Provides us with self-protection, control and peace of mind.

3. Makes everyone more fluid and flexible.

4. Stimulates immune systems; combats illness and stress.

5. Gives aerobic workouts; boosts energy levels; lowers blood pressure, and gives internal massages.

6. IS PURE PLEASURE AND LIFTS OUR SPIRITS TO PLAY!

“Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator,

but among those I love I can; all of them make me laugh.”

W.H. Auden

5 Facts of Humor’s Balancing Act

admin — Sat, 01 Jul 2006 08:01:39 +0000

5 Facts of Humor’s Balancing Act

By Dan Gascon

Your sense of humor allows you to constantly create new realities to enrich and bring balance to your life. Along with laughter, it provides you with greater physical health, helps you cope with perspective and gives you more happiness. Here are the facts to humor’s balancing act:

1. RELIEVES YOU OF TENSION AND STRESS. Humor and laughter combat and create opposite effects. When you laugh, you are cheerful, upbeat, playful, light-hearted, you let go, vent, relax and unwind.

2. GIVES YOU AN AEROBIC AND INTERNAL WORKOUT. The diaphragm is the large muscle which separates the chest cavity from the abdominal cavity and gets a great workout when we laugh heartily. Our respiration is enhanced, blood pressure is lowered and the amount of oxygen in the blood stream increases. Ever laughed so much it hurt? The movement of the diaphragm also stimulates surrounding organs, such as the stomach, kidneys and liver, acting as an internal massage.

3. STIMULATES YOUR IMMUNE SYSTEM. University studies show laughter lowers serum cortisol levels, increases T-cell production, lowers blood pressure and increases the number and activity of disease-fighting killer cells. These are all natural Ahealth substances,@ endorphins and encephalons that free us of pain and illness.

4. GIVES YOU PERSPECTIVE THAT HELPS YOU COPE. Your sense of humor has the power to manage, endure and lighten any load. By not allowing yourself to take things too seriously, you gain a greater ability to see change as challenging, not threatening. It gives you the capacity to cope with stress and difficulties in ways that are positive, uplifting and successful. Humor and laughing helps detach us from the funk we may be in. We then get a sense of self-protection and control over our environment.

5. EMPOWERS AND ENHANCES YOUR QUALITY OF LIFE. A lighthearted spirit always has the power to see you through. When you are troubled, feeling low, depressed or down, the experience of laughter, if even just for the moment, banishes feelings of loneliness, anger and fear. Humor and laughter can transcend any predicament with feelings that are lighthearted, carefree and hopeful. Humor has the power to turn any situation around by drawing our attention away from upsets. When you experience more laughter, smiles and feel carefree, your happiness increases with the spirit’s energy and powers the will to live. You make your life sweeter.

“Humor and most notably laughter, frees the mind, eases the faculties and causes the soul to lift. Thus, they must not only be looked on as great pleasures

but also as superior in the composition of human life.”

Markus De Lorne

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When is a joke not a joke?

admin — Sat, 01 Jul 2006 08:00:56 +0000

When is a joke not a joke?

by Karyn Buxman, RN, MSN, CSP, CPAE

Two students were shot and killed and 13 others injured when a 15-year-old boy, Andy Williams, went on a shooting rampage at school in San Diego, CA. Several people report hearing the boy threaten to go on a killing spree at school but thought he was joking.

When is a joke not a joke? There are three recognized functions of humor. One of the three functions of humor is that of communication.

“Many times people will communicate a desire or fear in the guise of a joke. If the ‘joke’ elicits the response they secretly want, then they have achieved their objective. If it does not elicit the desired response, then they have still saved face; they can say, “I was only joking.”

What to do?

Listen beyond the laughter: Usually a joke is just a joke, but does the humor cause you to suspect that the other person is trying to tell you something?

Listen to your gut: If you think the other person might not be joking, you’re probably picking up non-verbal clues. More often than not, your intuition is right.

Follow through: If the humor is not ringing in sync with the joker’s normal style or if the ‘joke’ could involve harm to another, then pay close attention. Do you need to take any sort of action?

Chris Reynolds, 29 year old whose son was friends with the suspect heard the joking but didn’t follow through. “I should’ve stepped up even if it wasn’t true … to take that precaution,” said Reynolds. “That’s going to be haunting me for a long time. It just hurts, because I could’ve maybe done something about it.”

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Copyright 2005 by Karyn Buxman. Reprinted with permission. A highly sought humorist and nationally recognized expert in therapeutic humor, Karyn Buxman, RN, MSN, CSP, CPAE helps people achieve balance through stress management techniques, including humor. To sign up for her free bi-weekly e-zine, LyteBytes, e-mail subscribe-lytebytes@humorx.com or visit www.HumorHabit.com